i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
