I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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