i permit you to call me
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
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Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
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Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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