billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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