Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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