her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
