is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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