Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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