Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
