Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
