I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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