I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
