The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
