you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
