I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
