We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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