even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
