No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
