I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.