My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?