i just sent this text using only my big toe
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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