I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
