We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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