Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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