Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
porn star boner night. come get it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
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