it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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