just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Sober January is a disaster.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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