I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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