Where is the hickey?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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