hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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