my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
