Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,

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(303): View more from Colorado

You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"

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(812): View more from Indiana

Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(216): View more from Ohio

I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.

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(214): View more from Texas

I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.

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