New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER