So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.