He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.