what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
you are never too drunk for berry picking
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack