I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize