Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
