Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
