I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
