Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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