you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
