totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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