We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Help. Why am I so naked?
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