can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
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"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
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Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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