I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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