i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
