and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
why is half of my head shaved?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
