Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
