this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
