I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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