I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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