Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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