i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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