I forgot how hot balto sounded
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
