Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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