I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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