I love black thongs
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
this is an emotional support booty call
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
