Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
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I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
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I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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