Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The uberlube is also flammable
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize