Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
