He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
