I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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