Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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