guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
